Le Tour

Watching Le tour de France makes me feel enlivened. It makes me feel this way for two reasons.

Reason 1: As soon as I see any scenery shots of France with houses I immediately start house hunting. I know that most of the houses that are shown already have people inhabiting them, though I start guesstimating how much they're worth and how many hours I would have to work in order to place a legitimate offer to the current owners to entice them to sell up and move out. Phase two of this day dream includes redecorating the house, including a perfectly scaled garden map of where I would place all of my cherub fountains.

Reason 2: It makes me feel like I should become a pro cyclist and become really fit. It makes me feel this way to the point of online bike shopping. But I quickly nip this idea in the bud as soon as I realise that I'm actually too lazy to do anything about becoming super fit and would prefer to just watch others be fit. I'm a team player like that. If everyone was super, being super fit would be the norm, and then no one would be super fit, everyone would just be normal. Then, those who were originally super fit would feel depressed. So, as agonising as the decision is, I will step aside and keep myself un-super fit, so as to support and sustain those who already are.

Though, that being said, I am currently wishing that I were wearing Cadel Evans' perfectly fitting lyrca ensemble right now. As he prepares for his final time trial of Le tour '11, it would be nice to think that you're in with a chance at winning one of the world's most prestigious competitions.

Then again, lyrca makes me itchy.